Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
