shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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