Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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