I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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