"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
