i may or may not be watching the land before time
only if we run a train.
done.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
