Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
