my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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