how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
