Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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