girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I want her autograph on my taint
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
