i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
