bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
