some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize