Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
