I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
