woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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