addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
