she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
