found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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