We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
