I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
