Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
