Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
