what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
