Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You dont lie about slip and slides
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
