I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
