It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
