someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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