I wish they made helmets for livers.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
