if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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