She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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