We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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