I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
