next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
