my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize