i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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