How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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