i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
