Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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