I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
