I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
