just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
