I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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