i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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