16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
