It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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