Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
