SEEEEXXX PLEASE
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
