I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
