What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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