Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
