And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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