yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
