he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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