We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
