AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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