we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
