The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
