I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize