You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
